Who are you and what have you done with my baby!?

From a very early age my sweet little girl has had a hard time with doctors. When she was 11 months old we stumbled across a kidney problem that warranted office visits almost every time she had a fever that would more times than not result in a catheter. Not that I could blame her hysterics that came with the sight of cartoon character laden scrubs or white coats and I did as all parents do who are guilty of bribery just to get their child through the waiting room door. I pleaded and promised her everything. Target was only a 10 minute drive from the doctor's office and if she sat still she could have anything her heart desired. I felt foolish and judged in the waiting room with my desperation for a non-kicking and screaming scenario through the dreaded "the doctor will see you now" door, but at the same time I was a screamer as a child at the doctor's office so I knew that the fear was all too real.

Last year's check-up was the first time she was able to restrain herself. I made no promises except that I was certain there would be NO shots. He would touch her tummy, look in her mouth and ears , and ask a few questions. That's it. NOTHING else. She thought long and hard about it and seemed okay with what I was asking her to do. The doctor did not disappoint, Thank God! She passed with flying colors. It was such a success I took her to Target anyway ( I know, I know but I am only human).

This year's check- up is just around the corner and I knew that "kindergarten shots" would be part of it. So I let her in on the little secret (against my better judgement) early. She reacted as expected with a trembling lip and begging, "No Mommy, please don't make me go!" Wes was not happy with my volunteering the information but I really wanted her to be prepared. So a few months went by and she decided that she could fix her dilemma by just not going to kindergarten at all. "But you have been looking forward to going to kindergarten and that is a huge sacrifice for a pain that will last for a moment!" She informed me that she had made the right decision and would just stay home with me..."What's the problem?"

Then slowly things began to change. A couple of her friends from school went to kindergarten and had survived "the shot" and some had even said they were brave and didn't cry! Laura Brittain, her cousin got to go "big school" and loved it. You could clearly tell that she was coming to see her decision to forgo the right of passage that would give her official big kid status may not be worth it. And just like that she changed her tune. She found it somewhere in herself that she not only would get the shot but would be happy to do it. She proclaimed to everyone she saw, "I can't wait until Christmas is over because I am going to get my kindergarten shot!" I thought to myself, this was great and all but would the new found bravery last?...probably not.

To make things even better, the American Academy of Pediatrics and the CDC announced this year that instead of 24 months being the cut off for children at higher risk for the flu it was now 59 months (or 4yrs 11mo). Perfect! Great! So I calmly informed Peyton that we needed to go sooner than expected to get an additional shot. As the words came out of my mouth, the tears started to fall. Wes was there and we explained why it was unavoidable. She lifted her head and straightened herself up and said Ok.

Wes called the doctor's office and was told she could come immediately. I was working at the time and could not go, so for the first time in her life she went without me. I was a mess even though she skipped out the door. Forty- five minutes later they came back and reported that not only did she not cry, not only did it not hurt, she watched the whole thing!! I can't even do that! Who is this little person standing before me? Where is my precious baby who needs me to comfort her? What is going on?!!!

And just like that she did it. All on her own, she faced her fears and won. She now walks around still excited that she will have the ability to go back to the doctor's office with confidence to go through pre-kindergarten initiation. And even though I am so proud of her, my heart still hurts just a little with the knowledge that she is in fact growing up way too fast.